After beginning to think we were going to need help to conceive, finally after 12 months I fell pregnant naturally. My husband and I couldn’t have felt more delighted! Our 12 week scan was fine and we announced the news to all our family and friends.
When the date for our 20 week scan arrived, I was so excited about seeing our baby on the screen again, I’d never felt so happy. Little did I know we would be faced with the devastating news that a vital part of our baby’s brain was severely underdeveloped. At the time I really didn’t understand what was going on – it was too much to take in – surely everything would really be ok?
We were taken to a side room. I remember the box of tissues on the table. A nurse entered the room and said she was so sorry that we were there, and that she understood how devastated we must be. It wasn’t until that moment that I realised something really serious was wrong.
The cerebellum part of our baby’s brain (a part of the brain that basically tells your body to do everything), had not formed properly, which meant our little girl would be significantly disabled, mentally handicapped and would have no quality of life. We were left with the dreadful decision of continuing with our pregnancy and giving our baby this life, or ending the pregnancy.
After much discussion, we didn’t feel we could bear to watch our child live a life of suffering and also had to consider the effect it would have on the family and any possible future children, so sadly we made the difficult decision not to continue with our pregnancy. At this stage of pregnancy the safest way would be to deliver the baby by a normal induced labour. I gave birth to our stillborn daughter, Amy, in the SPRING suite at St. Mary’s Maternity Unit, Poole. The suite offered us a private room with living area which made this experience as comfortable and private as possible.
The support from all the staff was so much more than I could have imagined. Their gentle, understanding approach helped us get through this horrific experience – we could not thank them enough.
We miss our little angel so much, but are so delighted to say that 13 months later we welcomed a perfect little baby girl, Katherine, into the world, who has brought us so much happiness and helped us to move forward.
After the birth of our second daughter, I decided to set myself a challenge to do a sponsored charity run to help raise funds for SPRING and so I took part in the Bournemouth Marathon Festival 2014. I had never run like this before and I am happy to say I achieved 5k in 29 minutes and still go out running now.